I WANT A BUT GOD GAVE ME A+

and sorry to say, i must let go this month with tears and at the same time i have to learn how to be grateful at my downs, i swear, it is the hardest part in life. 

28th June 2016 

cry. anger. disappointed. regret

all i felt empty. 

big failed to all my efforts for 6 weeks. FAILED. 

at my first writing, i mentioned that i chose Law for my major at collage. 

a million or maybe thousand students who joined big war or i call it SBMPTN 2016. 

when the day came, all of my friends was curious. we couldn't do anything except waiting till 2pm the time when the result will be realised. 

yap, i went to Plaza Senayan to shop with my sister then i went to Pondok Indah Mall to watch Central Intelligence. after several minutes for waiting, the time came. 

i opened the link, wait a sec...... and suddenly i cried, i don't care where i was, all i could do was crying. 

i broke my parents also my brothers hope for second times or maybe i can't count how many times i made them disappointed. 

but

"if life give you lemon, made lemonade!" 

that's true. let's see at different perspective from this. 

God never let us to feel sad or disappointed. He will give the best thing in life, even maybe we feel that it is not the best for us. but, i remember "Not my will but Yours be done" so yeah, i am still learning how to be grateful at my downs, even it so freaking hard, but I knew that i can. 

on the other side, i thank to all my bff who always support me through my downs. 

i feel so blessed to have them all. i cant thankful enough after reading their chats, i am pretty sure of that. i thank to all, my parents, brothers and sissy in law who still support me at my downs. 

and for Jessica, who has spent our Tuesday to make me happy even i didn't want to. 

and to my first & sec bro also my sissy in law and my parents, 

sorry for now i couldn't make you proud to win that big war. But i can't say how thankful i am for having you. Even at my downs, you still support me, Thank You for your understanding and sweet smile also endless prayer for me :) 

to my one and only Fatty, 

even you're seem like you care about nothing but...... ya, to be honest i never expect that you said like that. I thank to every supports that you gave, but i apologise because i couldn't make it. And i couldn't say anything when you said that you still proud of me, Thank You and Good Luck, panda. My prayer always guide you way, be the best dentist, panda! 

even you're so talk-active but who knows if you can talk like that. Thank You to make me stronger from your chat. I am very appreciate it. Good Luck the next president, be good president, and remember your promises to me, get it as soon as possible! 

I did not know how was my day without you. Thank You so much to help me for boosting my mood at that time and did stupid things even you didn't mean it to make me laughing. I love the way you boost my mood, sending lots of kisses. 

Last but not the least, 

for all my friends who failed at this big war, 

don't worry about our future, our God has prepared the best things for our life. The best is yet to come, believe this. 

Let's get what we have dreamt

<33 For Fadil, i know its freaking hard, i felt it too. But remember, the best is yet to come. Get it, go for what you dream. Good Luck for everything that you will do. Maybe not now but later, i believe. Don't be sad, bro. Your daddy, mom, brothers and sisters proud of you, and absolutely me too! 

<33 For Hari, no matter how many fights we had. My prayer always guide your way. Don't worry, bro. I believe that your parents and probably me, still proud of you. Good Luck at UNPAR. as you can see, we'll meet again, huh. But that's ok, Good Luck on every steps that you took. Whatever you want to be, make it best.

<33 For Sharon, don't be sad my dear. I'm still proud of you, be the best at your major at UNPAR. no matter what they say, i am still un biological proud sister :) Good luck, sissy. Have fun on your summer break, anyway. See you when i see you. 

<33 For Yaumi, this is not the end. I know you can through this. Good Luck for the next battle in your life. Wherever university that you'll take, make it best, grab all of your dreams. I am still proud of you, no matter what will you to be. cheers! 

<3333 for Della and Daniel, Congratulations you made it! All of your hard works has paid off! I am very proud of you. Good Luck and God bless you. 

this is not the end, 

welcome the next battle, 

here i am, i am ready! 

catch this letter, 

i am proud of you all, 

lots of hugs.